they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize