I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
