my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
