dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Randomize
