I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
