How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
