Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize