There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
this will be a night to untag.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
