is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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