All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
