Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize