well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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