OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Quick, to the slutcave!
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
