lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
