Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize