evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
