why didn't you poke me back
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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