I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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