i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I think your dad took our porno
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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