Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
