ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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