He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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