Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
