The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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