in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I love you. Go after that dick
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
