and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
