I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize