Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I think a kid would responsible me up
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
