I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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