My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
how can u be prego again
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
