How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
