I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
