He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize