And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
