ya dads aren't the best wingmen
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
