Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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