He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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