absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
