I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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