When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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