it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
