What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
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