So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
The Olympian is in my bed
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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