Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
there is glitter all over my balls
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
