I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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