This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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