guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
