I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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