Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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