Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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