I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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