oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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