Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
