wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
