Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
