She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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