I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
as a side note pls kill me
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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