After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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