don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He felt like a one man threesome
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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