i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I think I just sharted jello shots
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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