I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
